


I can't live without you

by Annalang



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Crimes & Criminals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Murder, Power Play, Top Hannibal, Top Hannibal Lecter, will’s view
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-05 04:08:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1804741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annalang/pseuds/Annalang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After season02 13, Jack and Will are both alive. Abigail is dead. Hannibal comes back and kills again. Will and Hannibal meet again. And this story is about what happens when they meet again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

1

Will always has the same dream. It is about a quiet stream and a dying stag. He can’t accurately remember what happened that day. All he remembers is blood. There is nothing but death and blood. And when he thinks about that day, his heart is so hurt. 

He always has a plan to kill Hannibal, but he never wants Hannibal to die. He always thinks of those days when he sat in that chair and his Dr. Lecter looked at him. They talked to each other and thought as each other. Hannibal always looked at his eyes with an undetected smile. And when he woke up in the hospital, he could see Hannibal standing in the air and he said: “I gave you the chance.”

Abigail is dead. Will buried her at a good cemetery near his house. He comes to see her once a week, and talk to her about his life. Will doesn’t know where Hannibal is. He recovered from the knife wound. But he cannot recover from what Hannibal said that day. His heart is broken. 

Jack and he both survived. But he never talked about Hannibal with Jack. They are not close as they were before. Will doesn’t know if he regretted betraying Hannibal. When he saw Abigail, when he saw Hannibal, when he heard Hannibal say ‘we couldn’t leave without you’, he felt so much pain. 

He can’t allow Hannibal to kill people again. He thought he could stop Hannibal and change him, but he can’t. The only thing he can do is wait; wait for a body killed in some dramatically cruel form. And that day will be the day of their reunion.

2

Jack asked Will to see a crime scene. When he told Will, Will could see that he was nervous. But Will was excited because he had a feeling that this crime scene would have something to do with Hannibal.

The body was found at an abandoned factory. It was hanging on the cross beam with wire. The body had been distorted into a very odd shape. The wire ran through its joints and curved like flowers. The body was surrounded by wire flowers. It looked pathological but beautiful. The flowers covered the body and other flowers. It so heavy and complicated; just like the Middle Ages which Hannibal likes. Will seems to hear the body or the flowers talk to him. They said: “Hello, Will.”

“The killer who did this is very calm. He knows exactly what he wants. He did this just to enjoy himself. This is not his murder. He chose his victims randomly. He didn’t care about them. He killed them and used their body to make his art works just like he was painting a picture.”

“This is my design.” 

When Will was speaking, he had a little smile on his face. He didn’t know about that, but Jack could see it. Jack didn’t know how to talk to Will since Hannibal escaped. He can hardly know Will’s mood, but he was certain Will is not good. He was afraid Will may breakdown, but Will told everyone he was fine, and he refused to accept any psychological doctor again. But at that moment, he can see Will’s smile. He doesn’t know what it means but he was sure it must have something to do with Hannibal.

“So what kind of killer we should look for?”

“Just someone you never would believe is the killer; someone like Dr. Lecter.”

Will smiled and talked to Jack. He looked a little bit happy, which made Jack feel uncomfortable, but he couldn’t tell why. He just watched Will leaving the crime scene. 

Will went to the cemetery. He didn’t want to talk to anybody because there was nobody who could understand him. There was one person who could, but he betrayed him. He had to do that, so he meant to suffer alone. The only one he can talk to is himself. He pretended to talk with Abigail, but he knew that it was just him, alone and helpless.

“You buried her in a nice place.”

“Yes, I did. Why did you come back?”

“I told you, I couldn’t leave without you.”

“You tried to kill me.”

“But I didn’t. You always want to kill me, don’t you?”

“Oh, yes. I do want to kill you. I always dream I kill you.”

“How does that feel? Does it please you?”

“No, not really.”

Will turned to face Hannibal. For all the years they were separated, he hardly changed. He looked just like the last time they sat at that chair, talking, and thinking.

“So, how did it feel?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you killed me; in real life, not in a dream. You used a real knife, in the real world, and killed me.”

“Well, you are not dead, are you? Or I am talking to a ghost in my imagination?”

“No, you are not talking to a ghost.” 

Will rubbed his own face and tried to say something, but he can’t find words to express himself. He had so many things to tell Hannibal, but at that moment, he just couldn’t say a single word. He dreamed that one day they meet again, so many times. And now the dream came true, he didn’t know want to do. Just like he had so many fantasies about killing Hannibal, but that night, he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t shoot Hannibal. He had the gun in his hand, and he had pulled the trigger before. But he just couldn’t do anything that night. The only thing he did was allow Hannibal to stab the knife into his body and hold Hannibal really tight.

“I thought that would be our ending.”

“No. We can’t end like that. We are just alike. You are as alone as I am. And we are both alone without each other. So we can’t end like that. I know you as you know me. We are both alive. So I cannot live without you.”

3

Will took Hannibal to his house. He didn’t know what to think when he saw Hannibal. But he was sure he didn’t want anyone to know Hannibal came back, at least not yet. He knew he should hand Hannibal over to the FBI. But he didn’t do that. He thought he should do something for himself, after everything that happened. It was time to think of himself, instead of others.

And he wanted Hannibal.

He wanted to see Hannibal again. He’d wanted to talk to Hannibal, question him, since the day he disappeared. He used to talk Hannibal in his mind. But now he can really talk to him. And although he can empathize with anyone, he cannot imagine Hannibal’s thoughts; at least not all of them.

“Your dogs look well,” said Hannibal. He sat in a chair before Will’s desk, where there sat an uncompleted fishhook, “Do you still go fishing?”

“Yes. It makes me feel at peace.”

“You couldn’t feel at peace.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“You. You stabbed me.”

“You could have stopped me,” said Hannibal. He was tying a feather to the fishhook, and he stopped to look Will in the eye. 

“You could have stopped everything that happened that night. But you chose not to. I gave you a chance to leave with me, and no one would have died. But you didn’t want to leave with me; you wanted me to get caught. You wanted me to live in a narrow cell. You wanted my freedom which I can’t give to you.”

“You said nobody would die; but there are so many people dead. I don’t just want Abigail alive. I want everyone alive. I don’t want you to kill people; not only the person who connects with me. And you can’t do that. I don’t want your freedom. I don’t want to put you in jail. I have to. Because this is the only way to make sure you do not kill people.”

“That is the only thing I want to do. And because of that, I deserve to die?”

“No. ”

“Will, Will,” said Hannibal, “I don’t mean to kill you. I want you alive. I said I can’t live without you, and it is true.”

“You don’t mean to kill me. How can I believe you?”

Will pulled up his shirt and showed his skin. There is a clear and horrible scar on his stomach. Hannibal stared at the scar and touched it carefully. He put his hand on the scar to cover it. He stood up to get closer to Will, and he leaned down and kissed the scar.

“Will, I just needed you to feel. Feel the pain of betrayal by someone you trusted, someone one you loved.”

“That pain is too strong to hide.”


	2. chapter 4—6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> About Will's feeling. I like write as Will's view.   
> and my English is not good, please forgive me.

4

Will and Hannibal stood face to face. They stood so close, and they were nearly hugging each other. At that moment Will felt himself going back to that raining night. And he looked in Hannibal’s eyes, and burst into laughter.

“Why are you laughing, Will?”

“It is just the same. After years of separation, when we are finally together, there is nothing changed. I look at you, and your expression just reminds me of the old days. Back when you were Dr. Lecter, and I was your patient. We used to talk about things, so many things, and analyze what the other one thinks. We tried to change each other. And now, nothing has changed. It’s just like the old days, talking and talking. ”

“Well, we do talk a lot,” said Hannibal, “And it is true we have gone through so many things. But when we meet again, we still talk; because there is no one else to talk to in the whole world. You are the only person I can share with. And even though today Dr. Lecter no longer exists in the world, I am still your doctor. I am always your doctor. You are right. Things happened, but to you and me, there is nothing changed.”

Will walked to the fireplace, and poured himself a glass of wine. He hesitated before he spoke: “But what about the others? You killed them and just told them nothing changed?”

“You don’t need to ask me why I eat them. You know. And some of them you cared for, like Beverly. You should have known what would happen to her when she saw the truth. You encouraged her, even when you could see what would happen.”

“But you are the person who murdered them.”

“Yes, I am,” Hannibal smiled, “I admit I killed them, as you always wanted me to. Now what are you feeling, Will?”

“It doesn’t matter now.”

“Oh, it will always matter, Will. Your feelings are important to me.”

“You killed them and used them. They were your tools to manipulate me. Yes, of course, that is enough for you.”

Hannibal went to Will. He didn’t say anything but held Will’s shoulder. Maybe he didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t want to argue; but there was no way to avoid an argument. They could not change each other’s minds. And now, Hannibal felt tired. For so long he tried to bring Will to his side, but the longer time he worked on it, the more he was aware that it was not possible.

“I don’t know if that is enough for me, Will. Actually I think we talked a lot today, and I should leave.”

“No, you won’t leave. If you take one step out of this house, I will shoot you and call the FBI. So you can’t go anywhere. You are staying here, Hannibal. Stay here. And if I’m satisfied, I may give you a drink or something.”

 

5

“You know you can’t trap me, Will.”

“Not necessarily.”

Will looked at Hannibal and smiled. He seemed very confident. He shook the glass and sat on the sofa. His smile made Hannibal feel nervous for some reason. Hannibal can feel there is something changed since he left. Will was no longer familiar as he was in the old days. This time Will seemed a little dangerous and unpredictable.

“I am not the same person you first met. You have successfully changed me. But on the other hand, when you left, this change never stopped. I am not the same person you can easy to manipulate. You wanted me to go the dark place with you. Well, you did it. And now I am in the dark place, with you. And there is only you and me, always.”

As Will spoke, Hannibal found that he was so different, since their last meeting. It didn’t mean that Will and he were not alike anymore; on the contrary, they were more similar. Because of his actions, Will was certainly changed. While he used to think Will couldn’t change him, Will said he had. Now, he believed Will had succeeded. And because of those changes, they weren’t just alike, they were practically the same person. All the time they were separated, they thought about each other and the things between them. They worked hard to think like the other, to understand one another. Apart from the fact that Will still refused to kill people, and Hannibal refused to stop, they were the same.

“Will, you changed so much while I was gone,” said Hannibal, “and although I wasn’t here to see it, I think these changes are good.”

He came to the sofa and sat close to Will. He took Will’s glass and drunk the wine.

“You don’t want me to leave. You miss me. Am I right?”

“Yes. And you shouldn’t leave for your own safety.”

Will smiled and looked at the knife on the table. It is the same knife Hannibal used to stab him. And Hannibal recognized it. He stared Will for a while, and then he stood up. He walked to kitchen and said: “So, what do you want for dinner, Will?”

6

Will remembered the day Hannibal came to his house and brought him breakfast. It was the first time they shared food. And after that, they had dinner together many times at Hannibal’s house. Over time, having dinner together became a habit. Back before the stag appeared, before the nightmares started. He just considered Hannibal a good psychiatrist. They sat at the table and shared food. And Will usually would praise Hannibal’s cooking. The memory between them was too sweet to be real. One day he knew the truth and all the beautiful memories fell apart. Instead, the stag filled his mind, his dreams. It tortured him day and night. He didn’t know how to define the relationship between Hannibal and him. It was so complicated. And it was not supposed to be like that.

“You should buy some food. There is nothing to cook with in your fridge.”

“There is certainly nothing like you usually cook with.” said Will. He walked to kitchen. Hannibal took off his jacket, revealing a waistcoat. It made his body look better. His waist was narrower and his legs were slender. After so long without seeing him, Hannibal still held the same fatal attraction to Will; possibly even stronger.

Will looked at Hannibal for a while before turning to the living room. He said: “Just use the stuff you already have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And , please leave some comments. This is my first fanfiction and my first story writing by English.   
> So,really want some comments.
> 
> Thanks for reading and love you all.


	3. chapter7-8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you lied to me.

7

Will sat at the sofa and held a glass of wine. He seemed to have something on his mind. When he was thinking, his expression was so dignified. He looked like he had too many things to worry about. And that was true. He had something really important and thorny to worry about——Hannibal. 

He knew he couldn’t keep Hannibal forever. Actually, Hannibal was a wanted fugitive and he worked for FBI. He should have turned Hannibal in the moment he saw Hannibal at the cemetery. But he did not do that. He had a private agenda. He knew he couldn’t let Hannibal get away for the murder, but he also didn’t want the federal agents to interrogate him. Hannibal was so unique and those people wouldn’t understand him. He didn’t mean that Hannibal had reason to kill people. Hannibal is guilty, and nobody could deny that. But if Hannibal had to be judged, he must be judged by someone can understood him. 

Will knew that, and he always knew that one day, maybe tomorrow, he would hand Hannibal to the FBI. And they might kill him or put him in a mental hospital. And if they did that, he will go to the hospital to visit Hannibal. It was the way things should go down. The good guys defeated bad guys. But now, he could hardly tell what is right and wrong.

He looked at Hannibal’s back and got lost in thought. It was so complicated. Everything became complicated once Hannibal showed up in his life. There was no simple right and wrong now, as he sat here and looked at Hannibal. He realized none of it mattered. When the moment came, there must be some way to solve this problem. And right now, there was only one thing to worry about. 

“So, when do we have dinner?” asked Will.

8 

They sat at the table and shared a dinner like they usually did. The dinner was too simple. After they shared all the expensive and delicate food, now they sat in the small house in the suburbs and ate the frozen steak for dinner. 

“I guess on the run you have to eat what you can, even if it’s not haute cuisine?”

“I don’t really care for the taste of food at this time. It is enough for me. What about you?”

“Neither do I.”

They smiled at each other. And after a while, Will said:”You know, I always wonder why we can’t just be friends, like others. You know, like the normal people.”

“Have you ever noticed that we are not normal people? Maybe that is the reason.”

“We should. I don’t mean that we should be normal people. We can’t. But we should have a friendship like others. Talk about food, weather, movies, sports, books. The friendship between us is painful. Being friends with you is so difficult and, dangerous.”

“But I was never dangerous to you.”

“After I almost died because you stabbed me? You say you are not dangerous to me? Oh. Hannibal, save it. Don’t embarrass yourself.”

As Hannibal stared at Will, he tried to explain something. But he gave up. He just went back to the conversation about normal people. He said: “We have never been like normal people, in our entire lives. So we can’t have a normal friendship like others. That is why we are so alone. And we only have each other. We are made for each other. ”

“No, I don’t think so. I am not made for anybody. And I think we should be alone. I’d rather I never knew you.” said Will, “But I met you. And at first, I embraced the company and understanding. I was happy to have you in my life. But don’t you see what you bring to me? Disease, nightmares, pain, death, and heartbreak.”

“That is not what I bring to you or I want to bring to you.”

“But the feeling is real. I feel hopeless and betrayed. You used lies to make me trust you. Once all the lies are found, the trust built on them would be destroyed. You knew that one day I would find out, but you still lied to me, without hesitation.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave some comments.


	4. chapter 9—10

9

“You are wrong, Will” said Hannibal, “Not all of them were lies. I lied to you, but at the same time, I also lead you to the truth. Without those lies, you could not find the truth. You can see the truth because I give you my help. You can’t deny that.”

“You said you let me see the truth. But that truth is not what I want to see. In fact, the truth you showed me is not supposed to exist. You let me see it just to satisfy yourself.”

“You think I just want to satisfy myself? Is what you think?”

“Yes, that is exactly what I think of you. Bloom said our relationship is harmful. That is true. I admit I used you to achieve my intent. But even today, you still won’t admit you did the same thing to me. In fact, you did that to me first. Based on this fact, you are lamentable, Dr. Lecter.”

Hannibal wiped his hand. He hesitated before he started talking. 

“I am not lamentable. You said I don’t admit the truth. You think I am afraid to face what I did to you and avoid talking about it. But you are wrong. You are wrong about so many things. I am not the lamentable one. I know what I do and what I feel from the beginning to the end. You are the one doesn’t know your own feelings. As a result you have so many contradictions. You cannot chose your side or make your decision.”

Will sat at the other side of the table. He looked at Hannibal but stopped talking. After Hannibal left, he thought a lot. But today what Hannibal said is right. He didn’t want to admit it but Hannibal was right. He avoided a part of his own feelings. He was afraid of it. He was afraid that once he faced those feelings, he would not be the same person at all. So now he can’t find the words to refute Hannibal or answer him. But he had decided one thing. 

“Do you remember we talked about our last dinner?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Maybe this will be your last dinner have with me on the outside.” said Will. He looked down at his mobile with a little smile. He said: “I can’t just let you go. You are here, and I have my job to do. I couldn’t leave with you last time. And I can’t just have a dinner without doing anything at this time.”

He smiled at Hannibal, and he wanted to say more. But he can’t. He didn’t know how to make this moment less difficult. And he heard the siren outside.

“Come out with your hands up, Hannibal Lecter.”

 

10

“You are still on their side, Will.” said Hannibal, “I am not surprised, but a little disappointed.”

“What I choose is the right side. And you shouldn’t be disappointed. I think you already knew what I would do before you came to me. I can think like you, just as you can think like me.”

“Yes, I can imagine what you will do. So I am not surprised, really. You have surprised me before, but not this time. But I am disappointed. I still have hope for you. I always have, even though you have abandoned me once.”

“Oh, you always have hope for me. I don’t believe it. What you have for me is not hope. And even if it really is hope, you should give it up. What you want me to be is just your dream. It is unpractical. Making me a murderer and killing people with you is just your fantasy. I am alone and I want your company. But your company is not important enough to me to give up what I believe and love. And no matter what you do, it is never enough.”

Will looked outside. He could see the armed people surrounding the house. The sky was turning dark, but there was still some sunlight on the edge of sky. It is bright and brilliant. The blue and red lights were blinking under the dark gray sky.

“It is a little strange to find that the view outside is kind of beautiful on this moment.”

“No, not strange at all.”

“The dark and bright, the shadows and lights, they are always beautiful.”

“It will be my pleasure to visit you at the hospital or the prison, Dr. Lecter. And you should go, really.”

Hannibal seemed want to say something, but he just laughed. Will didn’t understand what Hannibal wanted to express, but he felt uncomfortable with his laughter. It sounded sad and crazy, but he couldn’t do anything. The side had been chosen and the decision had been made. The only thing he could do was watch Hannibal get caught in the plan he made a long time ago. It’s different from his dream. He never had a clear feeling about finishing that plan. But now he felt it, and it didn’t feel as good as he’d thought it would. But what did that matter?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language so my work might have some grammar mistakes. If you find that, please tell me.   
> And I am not sure what will happen in the future of this story. So, if you have some ideas, just tell me and I will think about it. and I may write it.  
> And thanks for reading. I WANT SOME COMMENTS!  
> love you all.


	5. chapter 11

Chapter 13

When Will heard Hannibal said he wanted to see him, he was so emotional he couldn’t define 

what he was feeling. But now he stood in the gloomy hospital. That hospital which was so dark, it 

leached out all life and sunlight. The floors and the windows were covered by dust. There was no 

color, no hope but the dirty cage. 

And Hannibal sat in that cage. The cage is a little small for him. He was tall and strong, but now 

he could only sit there and wear the prison jumpsuit. He always liked the complicated pattern and 

the bright line in his clothes. He loved the wide ties and cufflinks. But now he just had that suit. 

Because of sunlight that poured from the skylight, Hannibal was in the shadows and Will couldn’t 

see his expression. But he could imagine that Hannibal was smiling as usual, as he always did in 

Will’s dream.

“Yes, you are free,” Will smiled and he said:”I know you are always free, but this way you can’t 

kill anybody.”

“Not necessarily. When you were in that jail, you sent a killer to murder me. You had an admirer. 

Maybe I also have admirers.”

“Yes, there must be so many people who want to help you out. You’re always charming and 

people believe in you, and they love you. But you can’t get out there, because they are not allowed 

to contact you.”

“But I can see you. That is enough for me. So have a seat, please,” Hannibal said.

When he said that, Will felt they had returned to the past, to the moment they first had a 

conversation in Hannibal’s home. Hannibal always told him to have a seat. And they started 

conversing. That had already become a convention. And this time they still start with that.

Will looked at the chair. He drew the chair to him and sat.

“So, my doctor, what do you want to talk about?”

“Everything. Talk to me, about everything. There are things we should discuss since we’ve been 

separated for so long. So talk to me.”

“You asked to see me to have a chat with me.”

“Yes. It has been a really long time. And now I am locked up here, and there is nothing else for 

me to do but talk to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really care about your thoughts on this story, so please leave some comments.  
> thank you for reading.


	6. chapter 12

12

Will can’t be sure whether he’s awake or sleeping. He’d slept for hours, and dreamt so many strange things. Countless scenes from the past flashed through his mind; the talking, the painting, the metaphors and suspicions. He walked into a stately hall and he could see Hannibal standing in the shadow. He just stood there, not speaking a word but staring at him. The antlers grew slowly from his head. And Will found he couldn’t move or talk. He watched Hannibal approach him and he heard the phone ring. It was just a dream.

“Will, Hannibal insists on seeing you.”

He heard Jack say that on the phone. He couldn’t remember his reply. But he got out of the bed and took a shower. He wore a dark gray coat and shirt. And he went to the same hospital he’d been trapped in.

“You are here,” said Hannibal, “I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

“You asked to see me.”

“Yes, but I thought you might need a few days to adjust yourself.”

“No, that’s not necessary. I have already thought about it. In fact, I have thought about how to face you when I caught you since you left. So I know what I want to say to you or do.”

“Actually, you didn’t catch me. You wanted to catch me by yourself, but you didn’t succeed. I came to you and I let you call the police. If I wanted to avoid all this, you didn’t have any way to stop me. So you did not catch me.”

“You mean you wanted to get caught.”

“It is not exactly what I wanted. But if you think that, it is not wrong.”

Hannibal looked at Will. His emotions towards Will were too deep and that put him at a disadvantage when he faced Will. Will didn’t know that, but Hannibal knew. So he had a little hesitation. And he said:

“I am tired of hiding. I don’t like travelling the world alone. I felt alone so I came to you. I don’t really care what you will do. I just need to see and talk to you. And it makes no difference to me whether I talk to you there or outside. I am always free no matter whether in my own house or that gloomy jail.”


	7. chapter 13

Chapter 13

When Will heard Hannibal said he wanted to see him he was so emotional. He could not define that feeling. But now he stood in the gloomy hospital. That hospital was a place which was lack of sunlight and lease of life. The place is dark. The floor and the window was covered by dust and they were all gray, the French gray. There was no color, no hope but the dirty cage. And Hannibal sat in that cage. The cage is a little small to him. He was tall and stong, but now he could only sat there and were the jail suit. He always liked the complicated pattern and the bright line in his clothes. He loved the wide ties and cufflinks. But now he just had that suit. Because of sunlight poured from the skylight, Hannibal was in the shadow and he can not see his expression. But he can image that Hannibal was smile as usual, which always in his dream.

“Yes, you are free.”  
Will smiled and he said:”I know you are always free, but that make sure you can not kill anybody.”

“Not necessary. When you in that jail, you send a killer to murder me. You had a admirer. Maybe I also have some.”

“Yes, there must be so many people want to help you out. You always are charming and people believe in you, and they love you. But you can not get out there. Because they are not allowed to contact you.”

“But I can see you. That is enough for me. So have a seat, please.”Hannibal said.  
When he said that, Will felt they return to the past, the moment they first had a conversion in Hannibal’s home. He always told him to have a seat. And they start the conversion. That had already became a convention. And this time they still start with that.

Will looked at the chair. He drew the chair to him and sat.  
“So, my doctor, what do you want to talk?”

“Everything.”  
“Talk to me, everything. We should discuss things since we have separated for long time. So talk to me.”

“You asked to see me to have a chat with me.”

“Yes. It has been a really long time. And now I am here, so I guess that is the only thing I can do, talking to you.”


	8. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After long time they bace to that hospital.

 

Chapter 14

 

The hospital has never changed. It looks almost same like several months ago when he was hold in that cage. But now he is a completely free man, and his doctor, who was always plays him by those brilliant psychological tricks, is bound in that narrow cage and asked him to have a conversion. Will can't deduce what tricks that man played, but he knows he is not supposed to trust him. He had done that once, and Hannibal turned time to a murder.

 

So, right now, that cunning, intelligent, erudite man, who is sitting in the shadow with a equivocal smile, is trying to start a conversion with him. On this occasion, the first thing comes to his mind is it must be a dangerous conspiracy.

 

He has never doubted that Hannibal has feeling about him and he is pretty sure that feeling is really close to love even that man had killed numerous innocent victim and cooked them. Furthermore, Hannibal brought human flesh to his house as breakfast to share with him. Will is gazing Hannibal's face for long time, trying to find something but a extremely appropriate false smile.

 

"What are you trying to find on my face? A fly or something else?"

 

"No, noting I am trying to find on your face. I just wonder how can you be so calm, like everything so ordinary to pay attention to." 

 

"Well, that is true. Everything is fine. You see, you are alive, and so am I. And we back together to this lovely jail to have some routine chat. That is really nice. Don't you think so?"

 

"You random choose your victim to murder to server your sumptuous dinner. And you killed two women who were care about you and loved you. One of them had a father fed her and her mother by using young girls body. After her father dead, she almost saw you as her dad, but you see what she got? Death, and a second father enjoy eating human flesh!"

 


	9. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal gives his forgiveness to Will.

Chapter 15

 

"You are so judgmental, Will. I thought when you saw what in my head, those fabulous and excellent ideas, you will understand me and join me. But no, even you have known my belief, you still choose to against me. It is really that important to you? What you say about it, justice? You persistently have a faith in the right things which normal people think, but you have forgotten something really can't ignored that you are definitely a normal person, from beginning to end, no matter what I done to you."

"I know what you want to tell me that I am like you and we are different to others. You want to tempt me with your understanding and sweet lies that because I am unusually so I must following you or something like that. But you know what? I am trying so hard to make me like a normal person for not being treated as a sociopathic psychopathy!"

 

Will yelled to hannibal. He was so angry and felt affronted. He never thought Hannibal would consider him like a hypocritical judgmental person, even he chose the other side to against Hannibal with betraying him. He usually likes to tell himself that what he is trying to do is the way to save hannibal and he never meant to hurt that man. But there is one thing he forget which is very important that Hannibal, his doctor, the only person can see him directly, doesn't need anybody to save, for all the time. The only thing Hannibal wants from him is company, the understanding, maybe also love.

Realizing that fact, Will eyes to Hannibal and can not say s simple word. He is so smug for long time. He persuaded himself all he has done is turing Hannibal to a better man because he is so cared about that man. But now, he yelled the truth out that for all the time, in the deep of his mind, he treated his doctor as a sociopathic psychopathy that he not really wants to admit. But he can not avoid it anymore because just a few seconds ago, he said it in aloud voice to Hannibal's face.

 

Will is so panic at this moment. From the start when he first met Hannibal who likes wear waistcoat he has already known that man is special to him and he wants that man. Even when Hannibal put a into his body, he still believed that me just so angry to find a way to punish him not kill him. And his is right. He is always right. That man doesn't want him to die or he must be dead now since murder a man is absolutely not a difficult thing to him.

 

"You don't need to blame yourself. It is a quiet reasonable way to think of you considering you are such a righteous man."

 

"No, not like that… I mean …."

 

"The subconsciousness is interesting, Will. You can't make it disappear, because it is a part of you. What you subconsciousness tells you is what you truly think of in your deep mind. You can't see your subconsciousness often because your emotion block it. But you can't deny that is the truth of your mind. You wouldn't join me and you cheated me, even tried to kill me. There must be a reason to explain why you did that. There must be a reason, which is powerful enough to make you not feel guilty to do anything to me, that you accept my ideology. You are so afraid to trust me or see me since you don't want to became a man like me. You are trying so hard to gain those normal people's ratification. But whatever… "

Hannibal seems having a hesitation and he said:"I realized that for long time. You can't fool me. The truth dispirited me once. But now, I recognize it is who you are, and like a said, that I give you my forgiveness, like always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said before English is not my first language and the grammar really confuses me. So if there is anyone willing to do the beta work for me, I will be very grateful. And if you like my story please leave a comment.


	10. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

 

"No, you can't. You can't just say you forgive me. It is not about you or your forgiveness."

 

"Yes, you are right, not me or my forgiveness. But this is the only thing I can do to make you feel better."

 

"No, I can't feel better! Especially you are trying to make me feel better! The fact is that your forgiveness just make me feel more guilty and I am not supposed to feel that. I can't do anything to deduce my sense of guilt. That is exactly what you want, that you can use my sentiment to control me and I can't blame you. But you know that I am trying so hard to fit in this world in my whole life. Even so I am still not a normal guy. Those people who rely on my gift, my thought, my design, are afraid of me! And I tell myself that not their fault."

"I have tired to be a good man for really long time. And there is no chance that I will abandon everything I believed to join you and go with you. You are such a unique man and I am so happy I know you. But the truth is there is no way we can both have freedom. Putting you there, honestly, it makes me uneasy but relieved."

 

"I understand. You have your own value conception system. And indeed, what I have done is not that endorsed to the majority of people."

 

Hannibal smile in that shadow. Will has a strange feeling the guy losing his freedom and holding in a small cage is not Hannibal but himself. He remember that once his doctor said if he got caught, he would live in his memory palace. And now although that man obviously is sitting here and talking to him, he senses there is a invisibility parclose between them. That man is too calm to be real. And he must admit he hope that Hannibal is up to something and the calm he shows is just a mask because he really can't see his doctor becoming dull and blocking himself to his own world.

 


	11. chapter 17

Chapter 17

 

 

''What are you thinking about, Will?"

Hannibal's voice stops Will pondering. Will choses to not look at Hannibal. He loses his way to confront his doctor, as soon as he realized he had made a huge mistake about how to treat Hannibal, but he can't admit this mistake causing once he does that, he will forfeit his right to stand with the "justicial" side. 

 

"What makes you so worried, Will? It is not necessary to worry about me.Just in case you don't know that, I am telling you again what you have done to me is reasonable to both of us. I can't blame you, and you are not allowed to blame yourself. And to make you feel better, I'll let you know that having some break in this quiet hospital is not that bad to me, in some way I am enjoying this experience and I guess you know since you have been there for a while before."

 

Finally, Will turns his eyes to Hannibal. He is smiling but not in a friendly. It is more like a taunt, and he says:"I worry about everything but your jail life. Whatever you feel about this hospital or jail is not my business. I do feel sometimes I ignore your opinion and insist to change you and now I understand that might hurt your feeling. And no matter what you plan to make me feel better, it just won't work. But the jail thing, no, I am very happy to see you in this cage which I do have been there, causing you owe me this. And if you can't recall that how you set me up and put me here, I don't mind to remind you."

 

"When I put you here, I didn't mean to hold you forever."

 

"And I don't expect you will let your jail time take over your remaining years, which you deserved. So just you consider as we have the same idea about putting the other in a small cell."

 

"Talking about that, what will you do if I escape?"

 

"Just like last time you did that, I will help the police to catch you and bring you here to talk about our old days."

 


End file.
